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| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | fish of every kind |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | burdened |
| 3. | Invitation for me: Why do I need to “haul” the “fish of all kinds?” Why can’t I pick what I want to bring with me as a pastor? One might ask what I mean by that. Do I mean dealing with all kinds of people, or situations, or my own thoughts? The answer is “Yes.” The process of kingdom is “hauling” all that stuff with us. We huff and puff looking for the shore often either giving up or giving in. Our loads seem overwhelming at times with no appearance of soon arrival. Is this what Jesus calls the Kingdom? Maybe the kingdom comes when the sorting is done and the “bad” is thrown away? The answer is again, “Yes.” The kingdom is in “hauling” and “sorting.” It is now and then. It is here and there. I have to go back to my original question, “Why?” We can come up with all kinds of cliches, but I think the grace of God is in fact that the “net” is thrown wide for “all,” which makes the load heavy, but in its heaviness there is an opportunity for more people and more opportunities for us to find salvation. Our “hauling” is hard because we are given a task of saving as many as possible. Here we ought to be reminded that Christ’s mission is to save all. One can just imagine the weight of that burden. In the end I am so glad that I am not the one who is going to do sorting. I just hope and pray to get to the shore. | |
I am back from a vacation. Let’s see if I can keep going with this.
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | everything in parables |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | comfort |
| 3. | Invitation for me: A parable always has an element of discovery. It is a blend of meaning conveyed by a teller and meaning discerned by a listener. These days my children ask me all the time, “What does that mean?” They are building their worldviews assigning meanings to new things and reevaluating old. In other words, any growth is process of discovering new meanings in life. Jesus told parables encouraging their growth and changing their worldviews. Can that be said that our God given live is a parable which we are supposed to discern seeking God-implied meanings? The question is whether we go deep enough or we settle for obvious and apparent things. The problem is not in the simplicity of the parable but in our desire continually seek meaning discovering new perspectives on who we are and who God is. I am not trying to encourage to overanalyze things, but if the meaning does not change, we don’t grow, and we should keep that in mind. If we do that then the mustard seed is more than a seed and the yeast is more than just east, and our happenings, people we interact with, and circumstances we live in are more than events in life. They are pointers, like road signs, directing us to His Kingdom on the road of discovery. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | called by name |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | desire to slow down |
| 3. | Invitation for me: This is probably a case when my emotions have nothing to do with my thoughts on the passage. Matthew makes those quick descriptions on some of the disciples, which we often skip as well familiar facts. Who does not know that John was a son of Zebedee, Matthew was a tax collector, and Judas was the traitor? What I am not sure about is what would Matthew write clarifying who I am. What word or a phrase would follow my name. Many of us work hard to have letters after our name. I believe to get a “D” somewhere in the combination of letters is a sort of an ultimate task. What fascinated me that Jesus did not call them by the descriptions that Matthew provided. He called them by their names. Christ was well aware of who they were, and his choices were not made in ignorance (as St. Ambrose pointed out), but they were made with a desire to take upon himself their qualities. In other words, when Jesus calls us by our names he takes who we are as his burdens. It just starts making sense why it is important for us to call His name. When we call His name we take the description of who he was (the Son of God) upon ourselves. What a great exchange? We, rough and sinful people, are invited to leave our negativity, anger, pessimism, frustrations, temperaments, laziness, and even betrayals with Jesus. We are given His name to call upon seeking love and reconciliation. Our names stay the same but what identifies and clarifies us changes. How important it is to remember that it is not letters after our names that ultimately determine who we are, but Christ’s voice calling us by our names. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | every disease |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | drawn to Christ |
| 3. | Invitation for me: A mute could speak. His words were a response to healing and exorcism performed by Christ. Others responded to the healed man’s words. It was the response of the mute one what prompted people to be amazed about Jesus. Everyone knows that mute ones do not have words to speak. Those words were created anew in the place where no one expected. It was a testimony of the new creation taking place in the lives of people. How often we seek “potentials” in ourself desiring to serve God according to our own self perceptions. Christ invites us on a journey wanting to create new abilities and new voices in us. I believe this applies not only to obvious things like being mute or lame. How about traits of our characters? It seems that we need new abilities to accept, to forgive, to encourage, and ultimately to love. Is it possible that “harvesters are few” because not so many are out there with their new voices and new lives. I feel an invitation today to seek “newness” in my life and my character. It is my prayer that others will see Christ in what is new in me, and may Jesus continues to have pity on the “old” Vadim. Lord, Jesus, have pity on me, a sinner! | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | oil on the rock |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | assurance |
| 3. | Invitation for me: If someone saw Jacob pouring oil on the rock, it would be interpreted at least as an act of mild insanity. I assume it was not cooking oil. It would be strange to see Jacob carrying a bottle of Pam with him. Perhaps it was a type of perfume. Jacob took a very precious possession and poured it out on the rock. I see striking similarities with the woman with the alabaster flask who poured her perfume on Jesus’s feet. Can it be that a deeply moving worship experience often seems strange to outsiders and bystanders? We, who live in the age when everything should be logical and pragmatic, tend to present our faith and our spiritual experiences in the same categories of contemporary paradigms of rationalization. However pouring oil on the rock in Bethel made a lot of sense later when the Son of God poured His blood on the Rock called Golgotha in an act of irrational and what seemed like senseless self-sacrifice. Worship often starts making sense to us only years if not lifetimes later. I think it might be plausible to suggest that our lives today will make a lot more sense later and even more when we will rewrite our autobiographies from the perspective of eternity. The key is not to miss a point that our lives ought be become perpetual worship experiences where we as oil are being poured in adoration and remembrance of God’s presence. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | “certain place” |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | wonder |
| 3. | Invitation for me: Just yesterday someone mentioned that Jesus would not just pray but he would go to a “certain place.” One of his disciples asked about “how” to pray perhaps meaning to get right words. However, it is important to note that for Jesus “right” place was as important as the “right” words. I wonder what that place was. Was that a quiet place and isolated place? Was that a green or a rocky and sandy place? Was that the place where He could see his disciples or he would distance himself from his ministry – his church. How about time? Of all people Jesus would know not only the “certain” place but also a certain time. All those questions are important for me because I am afraid that by the virtue of my vocation I am just like one of those disciples – looking for the “right” words even when it comes down to my conversation with God. Luke (along with other gospel writers) makes a point of Christ’s “certain” rhythm of prayer and ministry life, and this is where I have a problem. Why didn’t Christ tell us where and when to pray while giving clear instructions on what to say? Can it be that He wanted us to find our own “certain” places developing our own rhythms of prayer. How do we go about finding those places? Can any place in life be a place of prayer? What qualifies a place to be “certain” one? Is it supposed to be my inner state that resonates with my life context or vice versa? I wonder, and I can say my wonder is my prayer today, but I am not “certain” about it yet. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | “whoever humbles” |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | peace |
| 3. | Invitation for me: It is Matthew 18 again. Shall we start reading it like Deut. 6 in the morning and at night? I am struggling a little with this passage. On one hand I understand Christ’s concept, and on the other I often fail to follow all the way through. I think it happens because I think that I should be the one who controls how humble I should be in different circumstances. As long as I can balance my own humility with the outward circumstances I am OK, but as soon as I feel that my personal space is being invaded my humbleness melts like butter on a frying pan leaving only bubbling foam. It might be possible that we miss the fact that children’s humbleness was more outwardly imposed than internally generated at the time of Jesus. Children were not humble because they wanted to but because they did not have any choice except being humble. They were not in charge of life situations, and that was why Jesus accepted them into the kingdom of God. I guess what matters is being able to remain humble when life throws at us storms causing our emotions fly. My goal today is not as much to be humble but to remain humble without trying to get things under my control. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | “judgement” |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | tiredness |
| 3. | Invitation for me: God is our judge. It sounds almost as an eschatological statement. Often we expect the judgement in the end of times or we want it to happen now so for someone it should become the end. Job was probably one of those who got very close to the end, but his end was not really judgement on him. He would deserve better, and yet we saw poor Job struggling with a paradigm of life in which the judgement and the end are almost synonymous. He is encouraged to accept his fate vis-a-vis his judgement even he does not understand “the verdict” against him. In this passage in his thinking he gets very close to doing just that – not arguing with God even he considers himself “right.” Is that what we are supposed to do in our lives? Should we just accept everything that life throws at us thinking that it must be God’s will? It does not seem right because of the sense of totalitarianism of God’s superiority. However, the situation is difficult indeed. We have problems in our lives, which seem like tough verdicts, and God is a judge. I am not the first one who notices the problem of cause. Thousands of generations have been wrestling with Job’s paradigm. Is there way out? Can it help if we see ourselves not on defendant’s bench but at the witness stand? We are not to judge or to be judged. We are hear to give our testimonies. The life of Job ultimately becames a testimony. Everything Job knew about life was telling him that he was given a tough sentence and his end was near; but he was only a witness with a testimony that outlasted him and perhaps will stretch through eternity. It is so human to feel like a victim or think that we are given unfair judgements, but how about living the way of bearing witness of the One who is Alpha and Omega. I guess, enough said. I have to go. I am being called to the witness stand today. | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | “rebuke” |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | humbleness |
| 3. | Invitation for me: Why did Jesus rebuke James and John instead of Samaritans? There was nothing wrong with what they said even from the OT point of view. We remember stories of fire coming down on people who mistreated God’s prophets or disobeyed God in general. They said everything according to the “scriptures” and yet they were dead wrong. Maybe it is just me but often I find myself doing everything “right,” but people don’t seem to see or appreciate my “rightness.” I set forth logical arguments and even a little bit of scripture, and yet my efforts don’t change anything. I get frustrated. (don’t we all?) I look around and I see people who seem to get it most of the time. I know people who are loved and successful without trying hard to fit or to be relevant. I see other churches gathering thousands of people to worship with a very simple message on a level of Jr. High SS class in our denomination, and I wonder what they do right. Can it be that it is not our knowledge or delivery methods that are flawed but our attitude toward those who are different from us? I am almost sure that Christ did not rebuke his disciples theology; however, He had a bone to pick with their attitude. That rebuke was a freeing experience for James and John because they found in themselves ability to overcome resentment toward the Samaritans, and they went to another Samaritan village. If it were me I would say, “Forget those Samaritans. I never deal with them again. Forget this person. This is the last time I am having a conversation with her or talking to him.” I believe we often don’t get it or can’t achieve what we aspire simply because we are stuck in our resentments and judgements. We all can agree that our faces should be turned to Jerusalem, the heavenly city, but a million dollar question today is, “Whom are we turning our backs to while facing Jerusalem?” | |
| 1. | Word(s) that caught my attention: | “greater things” |
| 2. | Emotion evoked: | sense of awe |
| 3. | Invitation for me: This past weekend someone asked me how I see my future. The question was really about my career as a pastor. The person was curious if I dreamed about moving up the organizational ladder, which would bring me a higher status. The question was asked after we had a baptism ceremony on the beach in Camp Pendelton. It was one of most important days in my life and my ministry. Words would fail to describe the experience as about 80 people from our church came that Sabbath afternoon to celebrate Kim and Jake’s public statement of faith and trust in God and our church. Jake is a marine who was deployed to Iraq five times in the last 5 years. He is going back there in March. They just moved in our area six months ago and because of the their previous connections with Seventh-day Adventist church they started to come to our church. The rest is history. They are now an integral part of our faith community. The reason I say all of that is because I want a reader to imagine standing in the ocean with seven foot waves crashing right behind us and our church singing, praying, and watching us from the shore. As my friend Ruben said, “It does not get better than that.” Now let’s go back to the conversation about what brings greatness in a minister’s life. That moment on the beach was the “greater things” for me. Walking out of the ocean and hearing “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord, God Almighty …,” I felt strongly convicted that seeing greater things is a lot more important than being a “greater thing.” I don’t know where my ministry and my life are going to take me and I don’t care how high or how low I will be as long as my eyes see the greater things and the Greatest of all.
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